If this is just for sex (you’re not falling for her, right?), then buy a box of
condoms and don’t prepare anything else. No romance, no candles, no sex
bunker. One reason casual sex can be brain-curdlingly hot is that there’s
no pressure to perform. You’re the rare guy she doesn’t have to worry about
impressing, so the more low-key you are, the more she’ll appreciate you. Just
be sure to prioritize her pleasure—and by that I mean more than repeated
and enthusiastic oral action. Send her flirty and inquisitive e-mails in the week
leading up to her arrival. Tell her what you’re “so turned on” about doing. And
ask, “What about you?” Then do that. With vigor!
On the beach, how do
I pick up women?
MIKE, PARIS, TX
With a six-pack of Corona
and a puppy. Don’t have
those? No problem—the
beach is the easiest place to
find an interested woman.
Just set up a game of bocce
or volleyball, or start building
a serious sand castle. (Skip
Frisbee; you’d be too far
apart to actually talk.) Then
watch for sunbathing babes
and invite any who peek at
you over their shades.
Why does my girl friend
want to make
out while we’re at a
bar with friends?
SAM, WILMINGTON, NC
She feels insecure. I’ve acted
publicly frisky when I wanted
to keep a boyfriend’s attention
on me, too. Had he taken
this advice, it would have
helped me chill: Don’t fool
around just before going out
(she’ll be hypersensitive to
follow-up affection). During
the night, keep the covert
reassurances coming: Hold
her hand, rub the back of her
neck. And whisper that she
looks so amazing you can
hardly focus. That’s what
she really wants.
I’m uncircumcised.
Is that a turnoff?
TIM, KANSAS CITY, MO
Not to me. But for some
women, maybe. It’s about
comfort—in what we’re used
to handling. If a woman hesitates
when she sees your
penis, she might be feeling
like she did back in high
school: What do I do with it?
That can make her feel awkward,
not sex-goddessy. So
laugh it off and reassure her:
Yes, there are differences
(like your sensitivity, so she
may need to lighten up on
the ol’ death grip), and you’re
happy to explain them. Or
better yet, guide her.
I heard my fiancée
tell her friend a sex
story about a former
fling. Is she still into
him?
MARK, ATHENS, GA
Hey, women try to one-up
each other with sex stories
just as men do. Problem is,
she can’t have you in the
starring role—because her
friends know you well and
don’t want the mental
image. Better that she talk
about that other guy: It
means he’s gone.
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